I don’t like everything about Bread Meats Bread.
I don’t understand burgers with pulled meat piled on top. It’s too much food for anyone (even the big lads that order it as standard get the meat sweats a couple of bites in). It also detracts from the quality of the burger. Some places might use this to their advantage but I know that BMB doesn’t have to (their burger patties are juicy and delicious, and even after the new health & safety legislation which means they are not allowed to be served slightly pink anymore). While only a couple of their burgers feature a beef patty plus pulled meat, these include their signature burger in Edinburgh (the Lothian Wolf). Some people seem to think that this is BMB’s main style and it puts them off going there, which is a great shame.
Also, why is the floor always so slippy? You have to shuffle around and cling onto every surface you can on your way. I’ve asked the staff about it a few times but they always resolutely cling to the party line that we are all simply mistaken, the floor isn’t slippy.
Lastly, their house beer is pretty tasteless.
Having said all that, we make excuses to visit BMB as often as possible. Even with all the new branches of London-based burger places which continue to pop up north of the border (surely we’re reaching peak burger-joint saturation point), in my opinion BMB is still the best place in Edinburgh to get a burger.
Keep it simple. The Cali Burger is award winning for a reason. Thin mustard-smashed patties, good cheese ratio, and all the other trimmings which make a burger a delightful thing. The 2×2 is enough but there’s nothing wrong with the occasional 3×3. The 4×4 is just a dare, a bit like the Lothian Wolf.
4×4 Cali – delicious but we take no responsibility for meat-sweat-induced delirium which follows its consumption
Another great thing about BMB is that they are inventive (in a good way, not just for the sake of it) and actually pull it off. Try the Luther Burger (featuring candied bacon and served in a glazed ring doughnut). Honestly, just try it.
They recently refreshed their menu (another big plus – too many places stick to their old faithfuls for years and never shake things up. You know who you are.) and now have even more burgers featuring thin smashed patties like the Cali, plus some other interesting creations like the Kim Yong Bun with kimchi and a fried egg. I want to take a moment to applaud the inclusion of cheese on this burger – often you have to choose between Asian flavours and cheese, and with me the call for cheese is usually too strong to resist. I was delighted to finally get both. I remember when BMB first opened in Glasgow they had more Asian-inspired things on their menu but these quickly went. It seems that maybe now they’re established enough to venture in that direction again, and it’s impressive that they’re willing to keep trying different things.
The Kim Yong Bun
Other things – the poutine is delicious. I don’t trust anyone who 1) won’t try it, or 2) has tried it and claims not to like it. For a special treat ask for it with pastrami on top. If you REALLY don’t like it (insert eye-rolling emoji here) the buffalo fries are also good. If beef burgers aren’t your thing they do good fried chicken. Try the Angry Chicken and add cheese (assuming you like cheese as much as I do).
And finally, the house beer might be no good but they have some decent bottled beers and make great milkshakes.
BMB might not be perfect but it’s like your best friend – they have some annoying habits but they’re still one of your favourite people and you always have a great time together. BMB, you’re our BOMA.